DEPRESSION!

I was just going to let this slide, but to lose two in a week (and god knows how many more) because of this invisible illness really hits a nerve inside of me.

Depression, anxiety, eating disorders, bipolar disorders, body dysmorphic disorders, and other mental health illnesses are REAL, just like hypertension, diabetes, cancer, asthma, bronchitis, hepatitis, and renal damage are. Contrary to popular belief, these can’t simply be cured by “keeping busy”, “thinking happy thoughts” or “changing your state of mind”. NO. It takes more than that. Not even the doses of Lexapro, Prozac, Zoloft, or Celexa can guarantee a complete cure. It’s a complex disease with a non-linear path of recovery. Yes, it will get better. It does. And if you’re lucky, it won’t come back. But for some who are dealt with the shorter end of the stick, it WILL relapse. You think cancer is the only disease that can go into remission only for it to reoccur the next 2,5,10,15,20 years? Think again. Depression does that too, and the more it relapses, the harder it will be for the patient.

Depression is NOT just sadness. More often than not, sadness is actually the least of the list of feelings a depressed person has. Depression is feeling empty, hopeless, worthless, directionless, tired despite sleeping the entire day away. Depression is not wanting to shower because why would you? There is no point in exerting effort to get ready when life doesn’t have anything in store for you anymore. Depression is just staring at the ceiling the entire afternoon, thinking about self-damaging thoughts or thinking of nothing at all. Depression is both over-eating and under-eating, insomnia or hypersomnia. Depression is slowly cutting ties from friends and family. Depression is sitting in front of the TV the entire day, not really watching something. I can go on and on about what depression CAN look like, but the thing is, patients have varying symptoms. But if there’s one thing I know for sure is that depression KILLS!

So if you know (suspect) someone suffering from this disease, talk to them. I know, finding a decent and cost-friendly psychiatrist in the country is hard. Believe me. It is. But that doesn’t mean you can’t help. Be an advocate. LISTEN! Show up for them, even if it means just sitting beside them for hours on end. BE THERE. Reach out. Just be there.

And please. Please look out for signs of self-harm. Depressed people (and I mean the REAL depressed people, not the ones who just loosely use the term, equating it to sadness) have subtle, creative behaviors and plans prior to suicide. There are tell-tale signs, so please be mindful of that.

All in all, just be understanding. Some people live with this illness, and every single day is a struggle for them. You won’t know who they are – she might be the girl you sit next to class, or that guy that lives  next door, or that lady bringing her kids to school, or that teenager about to graduate top of her class, he could be your teacher, she could be your nurse, he could be your doctor, she could be your friend, he could be your chaplain. That person can be your brother, your sister, your mother, your father, she could be anyone in the crowd. So please, just be kind, and take it upon yourself to learn about mental health illnesses, cause you’ll never know that one day, you might just be able to save a life simply because you understood and you are THERE.

Rest in peace Anthony Bourdain, Kate Spade, Robin Williams, Chester Bennington, and all the lives the world lost because of these illnesses.

PS: If you don’t understand the illnesses or just plain out refuse to acknowledge their existence, just keep your mouth shut. Don’t shame the sufferers. You wouldn’t shame patients with cancer for having cancer, what makes depression any different? They are both diseases recognized in the world of medicine. So if you don’t have anything nice to say, just walk away.