For I am a dreamer...

So, a couple of hours ago, I woke up with a big grin on my face because I dreamed about her --   my angel . She was tugging at my leg, with her dark brown hair in piggy tails and she looks at me with those big brown eyes as she purred Mommy, mommy . It was by far the best dream I ever had, really. And just to clarify things, no I'm not pregnant and never was and never tried to be. Haha! It's just that I am really anticipating the joys of motherhood. I know I'm too young and I still have a lot of things in store for me, but she  just melts my heart. Eversince I was a child, I always had this thing with babies. I vividly remember how much I wanted to take those babies shown in commercials and snatch them out of the telly, how my toddler heart just wants a little baby, how my little arms stretched open if I met a baby. I also remember how my little heart actually flutters when I hear somebody's pregnant in the family and I remembered how I forced myself to babysit inf

Exactly 8:12 in the evening on the 4th of May. I cannot formulate a decent train of thought at this very moment since I ingested a wee bit of alcohol a while ago. :p I'm not tipsy nor drunk but I have a wee bit of a headache. So, I went for a simple celebration with just seven precious friends of mine. I am not really fond of having a lot of people over. I love small, quality time with the people I truly love. So, my birthday went really great in the context of my own standard of  "great". Here are my 19th year goals: As I say goodbye to my 18th, I will bury with it my feelings and thoughts for someone whom I really did give my heart to for 5 years, despite not having anything in return.  I realized "We" can never happen, and I think I waited for enough time for us to be "us", but I guess it never was meant to be. And he has someone now, and I think he is really happy. So there's no use for hoping and I really need to get on with