So, weeks ago, I went to different institutions to have certain blood tests done. If you read my previous blog, my doctor apparently had an initial diagnoses of either Acromegaly or Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome for me. And yep! I had my tests done! And just recently, the results arrived one by one. I'm glad to report that my growth hormones are soooooooooo within the normal limits! So yehey for the elimination of Acromegaly! :) Then my tests for PCOS came in (with estrogen, estradiol, testosterone, etc), and surprisingly, they all came back normal. However, I am quite doubtful with the results because days after and before the test, I had series of spotting sessions. I'm afraid if that caused some alterations with the results. Well, I don't really know anything at this moment, but I'm pretty sure I need to get an ultrasound to check whether there REALLY are cysts on my ovaries. But one test turned out bleh! the Oral Glucose Tolerance Test. The fasting one was ...
The last time I wrote in here was in the car-wreck that is 2020. Has a lot changed since then? Not really. Minutely, I guess. I still am working in the same hospital, same department, with roughly the same people. No new updates on my love life either. On the other hand, the cases of COVID 19 has dwindled down as of late, and things have been slowly getting back to pre-pandemic days . Health-wise though? That's where things have gone a whole lot sketchier. I really just could not catch a break. In a few week's time, I will know whether or not I actually have cancer. Huh. How do I feel about that? I can't say I am 100% shocked, to be honest. I've always had this inkling that I'd die young. I remembered telling one of my bestfriends back in the day (we were around 15/16ish), that yes, I had a feeling I wouldn't make it past 40.. or 30 even. Of course, I never thought about it too much, but somehow, it just makes me think. I have always been right about things ...
I've made one mistake, they tell me I can't undo. Just one wrong choice, and my life will forever be skewed. I cannot follow excellence if my heart's not in it, So listen please, oh no- I think my time has ended. Yes, I chose Nursing on my own. But I made the wrong choice, they pushed me on. Saying I have to finish because I started this, Closing all my options, disregarding my lists. They already have it in their minds, What I'll be, my job, pushing my own voice aside. They already envisioned me as a nurse, Well, have they thought about my heart and it's voice? I think about my dream, of my heart's deepest desire, With pens and papers, passion's lighting like fire. But then I have to stop and halt my train of thoughts, Because I will never have that life -- forever in sought. Writers -- underappreciated, underpaid, not in demand. Nurses abroad, payrolls, big cash on hand. Big house, cars, tours and travels, The...
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