The last time I wrote in here was in the car-wreck that is 2020. Has a lot changed since then? Not really. Minutely, I guess. I still am working in the same hospital, same department, with roughly the same people. No new updates on my love life either. On the other hand, the cases of COVID 19 has dwindled down as of late, and things have been slowly getting back to pre-pandemic days . Health-wise though? That's where things have gone a whole lot sketchier. I really just could not catch a break. In a few week's time, I will know whether or not I actually have cancer. Huh. How do I feel about that? I can't say I am 100% shocked, to be honest. I've always had this inkling that I'd die young. I remembered telling one of my bestfriends back in the day (we were around 15/16ish), that yes, I had a feeling I wouldn't make it past 40.. or 30 even. Of course, I never thought about it too much, but somehow, it just makes me think. I have always been right about things ...
I've made one mistake, they tell me I can't undo. Just one wrong choice, and my life will forever be skewed. I cannot follow excellence if my heart's not in it, So listen please, oh no- I think my time has ended. Yes, I chose Nursing on my own. But I made the wrong choice, they pushed me on. Saying I have to finish because I started this, Closing all my options, disregarding my lists. They already have it in their minds, What I'll be, my job, pushing my own voice aside. They already envisioned me as a nurse, Well, have they thought about my heart and it's voice? I think about my dream, of my heart's deepest desire, With pens and papers, passion's lighting like fire. But then I have to stop and halt my train of thoughts, Because I will never have that life -- forever in sought. Writers -- underappreciated, underpaid, not in demand. Nurses abroad, payrolls, big cash on hand. Big house, cars, tours and travels, The...
Recently, we lost one person in our highschool batch; he got hit by a big bike. I don't like the fact that it took a certain death for me to come to realize a lot of things in my life. I don't like it one bit. But as I listened to the eulogies being spoken during his interment, I looked back and evaluated my own existence. You see, that guy was truly a gem. He helped people -- a lot. We weren't close, nor were we friends. I hadn't had the chance of actually getting to know him deeply because we were never put in the same class together. We just know each other by name. But judging from the things that my friends (who are also his friends) were saying, it is no doubt that he is a great person, and he would've been a very wonderful man. He would've been a great doctor, with a genuine helping heart. He would've been a great, responsible father. A loving husband. A caring son. A model of a brother. He would've been a very great person, if he isn...
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