Define the Indefinable

(This was a paper I wrote for my English subject back when I was in 4th year highscool, approximately 3 years ago, it's about love and valentines.. hahaha.. posting it here for safe-keeping)

DEFINE THE INDEFINABLE

  

                “Valentines again”, I sighed to myself. It’s the season of the lovebirds, the deeply in love.

                Speaking of love. I stared at nowhere. I sighed again.. Love… Four-letter word yet somehow, it’s like the most complicated thing that ever existed in this universe. It’s like the scorching heat of a fire; you can never know when it is warming your heart or whether it’s burning down your whole humanity.

                They said that there is somehow a designated person for everyone out there, but I seriously think that mine, while he was on his way to me, unfortunately got hit by a truck! For 15 years of my mere existence, I don’t really know how it feels to be loved and to be truly in love with someone of the opposite sex. I don’t seem to get this “mutual agreement” of which a boy and a girl subconsciously fall for each other.

And because of this, I somehow started to steer the wheel of my ship to somehow seek people who, unfortunately, have been carelessly hit by Cupid’s arrow, to somehow find the definite meaning of love. People of my age, to be exact.

I’ve sailed to people’s islands and found those kinds of people I’ve been looking for. I blatantly asked them what love is in their own perspective. A mathematician then said: “Love is like a pi__ natural, irrational yet somehow important”, in addition he said, “If you love someone, put their name in a circle not in a heart, a heart can break but a circle goes on forever”. Next was a musician: “Love is like playing the piano. At first, you must learn to play by the rules, and then you must forget the rules and play from your heart”.

                But, above all, I’ve met this specific person who stands out among the rest. Unbelievably, it’s a boy. He’s just the same age as me, but unlike me, he’d been consummated by the complex power of this thing called “love”. It was evident from his face that he had somehow lost a battle from within. A battle that could only be attained by loving too much yet receiving too little. I asked him about this menace that seemed to bother half of the world’s population. In my mind though, a conclusion was already made: TEENAGE LOVE is just a nuisance. Yet as we continued to have this conversation, the what seemed to be badly hurt face of his, was somehow changing. A minute smile, I believe, was slowly occupying his face. And later on he made a statement of which somehow implored that he enjoyed being in that matter. “Oh so you’re a masochist?!.. Doesn’t that make you a fool?!” I exclaimed. He was just staring at the meadow for some reason. Silence was reigning. “There is no difference between a wise man and a fool when they are in love”, he suddenly murmured as the wind passed. I was awestricken by what I heard. It took me a while to respond to what he said. “Well. You’re over her by now aren’t you?”, I asked him. He shook his head and said, “It’s not that easy, you see, the love that is never returned shall be the love that will last longer”. Am I really talking to a fellow fifteen-year-old?!. I looked at him, and he seemed to be absolutely sure about what he’s saying. I shrugged. And by that minute, the sun was almost over the horizon, “It’s twilight, I have to go”, he excused himself and in just a few seconds, I was left staring at that breath taking view, deeply absorbed in my own oceans of thoughts.

                I took my pen and my paper out, but I couldn’t write anything. It’s impossible to write a definite meaning of love. Everybody is entitled to what they think love is. Love is just a word, until you find someone who gives meaning to it. But one thing was somehow engraved within me. “Life is only worth living once you’ve found someone worth dying for”, I said to myself.